Pages

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Usain Bolt



Marking Explain Writing.

WALT: use a rubric to mark a piece of writing.


Success criteria: I will use the rubric to mark then then write why I  gave it that point. I will add total of points and gave it a level.





In our  Tautoro School  we have so many new students who have enrolled  in our school. Because of the new enrollments every time we have a  powhiri or assembly we always get squashed, and we feel really uncomfortable. So the facility that is needed in Tautoro School  is a new hall.Why do we need a hall?
First a  hall is needed by Tautoro School because when we have new students enrolling in our school, every new child needs  a powhiri. There are more students enrolling into our school every week and we are feeling really squashed in our small library.  If we had a hall our manuhiri would feel more comfortable and they would be able to shake everybody's hands without pushing past students and then they would feel very welcomed, comfortable and feel more relaxed. 
Secondly: if we had a community hall we would also be able to play sports inside.   If it was raining or if it became too hot. Then we wouldn't be missing out on our fitness and fitness  makes you feel good and it exercises your brain. And this would help students to concentrate more in class.
Another reason why we need a hall is so that we could get a kitchen built in the hall then we would be able to have technology at our school instead of travelling to town to use another school's kitchen.  We would be able to learn how to cook and bake and then we would be able to help our whanau cook and bake at home.

Last of all we need  a hall because our community would be able to use the hall in the weekend which will bring  all our local communities together for meetings or gala days.
In conclusion, I strongly believe we need a community hall at our school because our  Tautoro school community is growing every week with new students enrolling into our school. It is important  that we have a new hall so that we won't be squashed and then we would feel comfortable and then we would listen better because we would all feel relaxed. If we don't have a hall we will always feel squashed and we will not have enough room in our teeny library for new students.


                                 Score     Reasons why you have given this mark
Ideas
R5
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R5 because it has lots of ideas 
that connect to the topic and each idea is supported by extra information detail or facts
 that explain my thinking.
Structure Language
R4
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R4 because it has all of the structure and one part 
Maybe well developed.
Organisation
R5
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R5 because the ideas are organised into basic
paragraphs.
Vocabulary
R4
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R4 because I used a range of words and phrases
 To add 
Sentence Structure
R5
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R5 because I can write a variety of sentences  
that are mostly grammatically correct.
Punctuation 
R5
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R5 because I can use correct sentence
 punctuation and correct use of other punctuation.
Spelling
R4
I think that this piece of writing deserves a R4 because most essential list words are
 spelt correctly.
Total
32 4p